Olivia "Livy" Marie

Olivia "Livy" Marie was born on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 at 3:05 PM. She weighed 9.1 ounces, and was 8 1/4 inches long. She was bald, but had blonde eyebrows. She had her daddy's toes, and her momma's cheekbones. She was beautiful and perfect.

Livy was not meant to belong to this world. We know there was a reason though we do not, and may never know that reason. We are grateful that the Lord sent the little angel to us, and she will always be our first born child.

There was a twisting in the umbilical cord that was done early on. As the cord grew it stayed thin in that spot. Livy was not able to get the nutrients she needed to grow. It was an accident that could not have been prevented or corrected.

Without sharing too much of our special and personal memories, I would like you all to know that we are thankful for the few hours we were able to spend with her. We treated her as if she were our living, breathing little Livy. Hubby sang, and I rocked.

I want you all to know that even though at times Hubby and I have our tearful moments, we have been blessed with strength through your prayers. We love her as if she were here with us for a while before we lost her. We talk about her, and will talk about her in that way.

We were able to get to know her for a while before the cord accident took her. She loved loud music, and Mommy singing. We believe she had a special spirit, and that we'll get to meet that spirit one day.

It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. It helps to heal us. Just know that we are doing well for what has happened. We will talk about her, and share things about her because she really was a beautiful and sweet little girl, and she belongs to our family.

This is a hardship that no one wants to have to go through. It has been dealt to our family though. The Lord has his reason's. Though we may not think it fair or right, at the same time we can grow closer to Him by letting him comfort us in our grief.

We hope you can find comfort in knowing that hubby and I are happy and so grateful for the times we've had with Livy, both before and after her birth. We think of those times, and smile. They were happy times, and they help to pull us through.

Thank you all so very much for all your prayers and thoughts of comfort. We truly have felt every single one of them.

Remember Olivia the way we do - as one of God's beautiful angels who will be watching over us all. It is sad that she is not here with us, but it is comforting to know that she is where she is meant to be.

-written by Olivia's momma two days after she was born and before what had happened really hit her

Olivia's Birth Story

I was having contractions all weekend so I went in 1 day early for my 24 week check-up. Hubby went with me. My belly measured small and the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. The doctor said she didn't want to send me home without hearing a heartbeat so we went to the ultrasound room. We saw out little girl, but she was still and so was her heart. That night we talked a lot, cried a lot, and made decisions. Per the doctor we went to the hospital at 6:00 AM the next day. We had to fill out all kinds of papers including a death certificate. A lady from the SHARE program came to talk with us, comfort us, and try to prepare us. I was induced. It made my labor start very fast and very hard. I had a few episodes of hard labor pains. While trying to give me morphine via IV the nurse accidentally pulled out my IV so I had to have another one started during some very hard contractions. The morphine didn't help one bit. I got sick a couple of times. The nurse went to get someone to give me an epidural (without asking us) because my pains were so hard. While she was gone Olivia was born at 3:05 PM with only Hubby and I in the room. We paged the nurse to come back. She paged the doctor to come to the hospital. About 20 minutes later the doctor came and took Livy out of her sack, cleaned her, wrapped her, and gave her to me. She was beautiful. Perfect. 9.1 ounces and 8 1/4 inches. Hubby and I were in love. The doctor was able to tell it was a cord accident that took Livy. Ladies from the SHARE program had made tiny clothes including a cap and a tiny quilt. They dressed and rewrapped Livy for us. After a couple of minutes it was time to deliver the other stuff. It wouldn't come. I was induced over and over again. I pushed and pushed. The doctor reached in and pulled on it a couple of times. There was so much blood. I was getting weak. After 3 hours, and no contractions, the doctor said I was losing too much blood to push any more and I had to have a D&C. Hubby stayed in our L&D room with Livy. 45 minutes later I was with Hubby and Livy again.

I was given medicine to stop the bleeding. We spent time with our precious daughter. I rocked and Hubby sang. We took pictures. She had my lips and long legs. She had Hubby's feet and bum. The ladies from the SHARE program did a foot mold for us. The whole day was surreal. It was the best and worst day of my life. Somehow I felt happiness though. It was so good to meet her. This little one I had wanted for so many years. She is and will forever be our little girl. Our 1st born. Our family's angel. We just love her so much. About 11:00 PM we called the mortuary to pick Livy up. Around midnight we were moved to a postpartum room. It was amazing to feel the immediate difference of no warm fuzzy spiritual presence in that room as compared with the L&D room. All through the night and the next day I was given meds to stop the bleeding and had my vitals checked every 2 hours. Hubby slept on a fold-out couch in my room. Much to our dismay the cleaning lady told us "Congratulations!". We were able to leave the hospital at 7:30 PM the day after Livy was born. We were also able to hold her at the funeral home before her burial. We picked out pink granite for her headstone. There will be an angel child on it.