The first person you should contact is your local SHARE representative - even if, and especially if, you have not had your baby yet. She will talk to you about what to expect, come to the hospital with you if you'd like, dress your baby in special premature-sized clothes if applicable, let you know of support group meetings and activities if you wish, and give you an over all huge helping hand. To find your local SHARE representative click here to visit The National SHARE Office's website, or call 1-800-821-6819. Also, I am here to help. I would love to talk with you. Contact me here. From there we can exchange phone numbers if you wish. Please don't go through this alone. So many people want to help.
A letter to the following address will stop about 75% of baby related mail during the first year after a baby's death: Mail Preference Service, Direct Marketing Association, P.O. Box 9008, Farmingdale, NY 11735-9008. Parents who wish to have their names removed from baby product lists should write to: Direct Marketing Association, Mail Reference Service, 6 East 43rd Street, NYC, NY 10017. To remove your name from the Gerber Baby Products mailing list write to : Gerber Products, 445 State Street, Fremont, MI 48413 or call (616) 928-2000.
Her Short Life
"Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limits of our sight." -Rossiter Worthington Raymond
Before Birth
After Birth
"People bring us well-meant but miserable consolations when they tell us what time will do to help our grief. We do not want to lose our grief, because our grief is bound up with our love and we could not cease to mourn without being robbed of our affections." -Phillip Brooks
Some Cemetery Visits
"They judge us for being stuck and not moving on. They don't understand that we ARE moving on - we're moving on with the children we have and with children who should be getting bigger if they weren't dead. It's not like we can just erase our children from our hearts, minds & bodies. The reality is that we move forward in our children's deaths, adding year after year of absence to the pile." -Vickie Bacon
My Religious Beliefs about PAIL
I firmly believe that when a baby's spirit enters his or her body the heart begins beating. Babies begin to move when their heart begins to beat. No one who has seen a baby kicking and stretching in an ultrasound, even in the early weeks, can deny that that baby is living. To live you must have a spirit. To learn more about my religious beliefs click here: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
BOOKS WE HAVE READ
"A Silent Sorrow" by Ingrid Kohn, Perry-Lynn Moffitt, and Isabelle A. Wilkins
"Gone Too Soon" by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer
"If God Loves Me, Why This?" by Kim A. Nelson
"Mommy, Please Don't Cry" by Linda Deymaz
"The Christmas Box" by Richard Paul Evans
Other Helpful Books
"Coping With Miscarriage" by Mimi Luebbermann
"Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Tubal Pregnancy" by Pam Vredevelt
"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" by Deborah L. Davis, PhD
"Grieving the Child I Never Knew" by Kathe Wunneberg
"I Can't Find a Heartbeat" by Melissa Sexson Hanson
"I’ll Hold You In Heaven Remembrance Book" by Debbie Heydrick
"Letters to Gabriel" by Karen Garver Santorum
"Miscarriage: What Every Women Needs To Know-A Positive New Approach" by Professor Lesley Regan
"Miscarriage: Women Sharing From The Heart" by Marie Allen, PhD & Shelly Marks, MS
"Pregnancy After a Loss - A Guide to Pregnancy after a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death" by Carol Cirulli Lanham
"To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes that ability to experience happiness." -Erich Fromm
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