Little Living Liv

3/22/07, 18 weeks 3 days

This was the last time we saw Olivia living and breathing (yes babies this old "breathe" in the womb). A week or so later was the last time we heard her heartbeat. We are so thankful we have recorded it, and had this extra ultrasound done.

Spring

I don't know what it is, but spring brings sorrow to my heart this year. Is it that new life is springing up all around me? Is it that winter is gone and the world no longer matches my feelings? Is it that I am missing buying an Easter dress for my daughter, like we were looking forward to doing when we found out she was a girl?

Thankfully spring also brings a reminder of the atonement, the plan of salvation, and the gift of eternal families. Reminding myself of these things helps me get through the hard times. Though I don't show it as I should, I am thankful for the undying love of our Father in heaven.

The Shopping Trip

As I peruse the aisles,
of the local store,
I see things more differently,
than I ever have before.

"Daddy's Little Angel",
the embroidered bibs do read.
But Daddy's angel is in Heaven,
and bibs she does not need.

She does not need a bottle,
a dress or a toy.
Of buying those things for her,
we shall never know the joy.

There are tiny jars of baby food,
that she will never eat,
And shiny shoes with buckles,
that will never touch her feet.

As the bikes and trikes taunt me,
from high up on the rack,
Tears will break free from my eyes,
if I dare look back.

I run off to the restroom,
to blow my nose and cry.
I wipe my eyes, swallow hard,
and let out a sigh.

I must go face the paper,
college and wide rule,
That my little angel,
will never use in school.

I hurry past the greeting cards,
that the people chose with care,
And I am reminded,
of the holidays we shall not share.

In the checkout line I bow my head,
and heavy is my heart,
For the family right in front of me,
has a newborn in their cart.

Shopping in the local store,
used to be mundane.
Now every aisle's full of items,
which remind me of my pain.

So, quick as I can, I give the cashier,
the money from my purse,
And hurry away from those who don't know my pain,
in this foreignly happy universe.

by Linda Vicory

Livy Bump

March 8, 2007