No One

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

-from a headstone in Ireland

You Are a Mother

A mother's love persists
Despite the time or distance
Weathering storms of adversity and absence
A mother's love persists
Despite tears and heartaches
In spite of all enemies
And until her own last dying breath
A mother's love persists
Beyond the grave
Stronger than death
Enduring and everlasting
A mother's love persists
You are a mother, even in the physical absence of your child
You are a mother.
Because a mother's love persists.

-Unknown

An Angel's Kiss

We go through life so often
Not stopping to enjoy the day,
And we take each one for granted
As we travel on our way.

We never stop to measure
Anything we just might miss,
But if the wind should blow by softly
You'll feel an angel's kiss.

A kiss that is sent from heaven;
A kiss from up above;
A kiss that is very special
From someone that you love.

For in your pain and sorrow
An angel's kiss will help you through.
This kiss is very private,
For it is meant for only you.

So when your hearts are heavy,
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you
Remember once again

About the one you grieve for
Because you sadly miss
And the gentle breeze you took for granted
Was just an angel's kiss.

-Peggy Bouse

A Christmas Poem

I believe in Heaven, where Santa does not go,
But instead the tiny angels find their homes below.

They mend our broken hearts.
They wipe away our tears.
They impart their loving tenderness.
They blow away our fears.

As vivid as the magic of Christmas,
With all the sights and sounds,
With twinkle lights and holly,
Their love is all around.

So have hope no matter what you do.
Your little piece of heaven
Will help you through.

Peace.

-Anne Stenebjem

Thank You [Olivia]

[Olivia], you filled me with more love while I carried you than I have known in a lifetime. I cannot begin to describe the joy you brought me.

I want to thank you for each kick and each jab you gave me. Every moment amazed me and warmed my heart. For that I thank you.

At the end of each work day, together we would walk the dog and watch meaningless reality television. It was the best part of my day and for that I thank you.

I wish I could describe the look on your dad's face when we found out you were a girl. You immediately lit up his heart and he lit up the room. I will always remember that moment and for that I thank you.

When people ask me how far along I was or if I knew what I was having, I was so excited to tell them all about you. YES, I would respond, she's a girl... I never felt so proud and for that I thank you.

The moment I saw your face, I fell so deeply in love and in spite of all the sorrow surrounding out circumstance, once I held you in my arms, you brought me absolute peace. For that I thank you.

I don't know why things happened for us the way they did. What I do know is that I am so lucky for every moment I had with my little girl. [Olivia], you are my greatest gift, and now my heart beats for both of us. We love you and miss you every day.

-By Colleen Dempsey, Dedicated to Fallon

Seasons

It's that special time of year for many
Gifts and songs and wonder plenty
Colors bright and life anew
Holiday cheer and friendship true
Yet for some, the pain of sorrow and
Not knowing what will come tomorrow
In the wake of mourning a child's death
Moment by moment they walk the path
Trying to survive grief's grip of wrath
Be gentle with them this time of year
Whom death has crossed, their cries please hear
Hearts are broken 'neath sorrow and tears
Today, tomorrow, and all of their years
Offer them gifts of kindness and amity
As they face each day of boundless calamity
Light a candle, say a prayer for those who mourn
Who cannot rejoice, their lives now torn
Remember their child and honor their pain
Share the burden and help them sustain
This holiday season, the best gifts you can share
Are your heart and your love,
Your solace and care.

-Joanne Cacciatore, PhD

Beautiful People

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I hope we can all become one of these beautiful people one day, for we all suffer trials.

Whispering Winds of Love

May the winds of love blow softly,
And whisper so you'll hear,
We will always love and miss you,
And wish that you are here.

-Unknown

Brighten the Heavens

Sorrow is great at the loss of our child,
in parting with one that we love,
That parting was made, that our child might go,
And brighten the heavens above.

-Unknown

I Am Not A Fetus

I am not a fetus, I am a baby
Perfectly formed, but still.

I am not medical waste of no account,
life’s flotsam and jetsam,
a ganglion of cells,
to be discarded.

I was born with a name,
The product of my parents genes,
Their child. But I came without breath,
And so I am not counted. Or acknowledged

Had I taken a breath or made a whimper,
had a beating heart or moved a limb
I would have been called a baby.

To my mother I am her baby.
It’s how she calls out to me when she cannot sleep,
Pleading, imploring, asking, why.....?

Her love transcends time; our bond of life is not broken,
I was here, flesh of her flesh, blood of her blood,
And I will always be.... Her baby.
Two souls... joined for eternity.

By: Richard Olsen, founder and Executive Director of The National Stillbirth Society

I Am A Mother

I've loved my child right from the start,
A feeling that's filled my entire heart.
I went through the labor and suffered the pain,
For many long hours with nothing to gain.

I've spent sleepless nights being awake,
Though it's been a while my arms they still ache.
I've sat and I've wondered of how she would grow,
The love of my family that she'd come to know.

The sound of her voice as she learns to talk,
Watching her steps as she tries to walk.
I have a child that I really love so,
I am her mother yet nobody knows.

I've spent all these months feeling her grow,
I've lived through it all and have nothing to show.
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers,
Because I don't have a baby like all of the others.

I've got some stretch marks that I'd like to hide,
but I don't have a pram with a baby inside.
The people I've known for so many years,
Avoid me now, which adds to my tears.

I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this,
But one thing I know, my baby I miss.
When Mother's Day comes it will be very hard,
I won't have any flowers, not even a card.

And just because she's not here with me,
I still have a daughter I wish I could see.
But one thing I know and this is for sure,
I'll be her mother forevermore!

-Author Unknown

To the Child in My Heart

O precious, tiny, sweet, little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.

We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be.
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother.
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had had.

But now you're gone... but yet you're here.
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy.
There's love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We'll forget you never-
The child we had, but never had,
And yet we'll have forever.

-Unknown

Trial Number Five

Carefully thy laid
Put on the table
Trials one, two, three,
Four, five, and six.

"Choose one," they said.

"Oh, any," she cried, with a horror
Born of the best of Halloweens,
"Any but number five.
It would kill me.
I promise you, I would not survive."

They thanked her graciously,
Escorted her out,
Then gift-wrapped, addressed,
And labeled "Special Delivery"
Trial number five-

Sent with love from
Those whose assignment it is
To make sure you know
That you can go
Through trials one, two,
Three, four, ninety-nine,
Or five-
And incredibly,
Come out alive.

-Carol Lynn Pearson

A Child of Mine

"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine", He said .
"For you to love while she lives
And to mourn for when she's dead.

"It may be for 6 or seven years,
Or twenty-two or three.
But will you till I call for her
Take care of her for me?

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

"I've looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs, the crowd, life's lanes
I've selected you.

"So will you give her all your love
Nor count the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her home again?"

I thought I heard them say,
"Yea, Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joy this child will bring
The risk of grief we'll run.

"We'll shelter her with tenderness
And love her while we may
And for the happiness she brings
Forever grateful stay.

"And should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll bear the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand".

"I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine" He said.
"For you to love while she lives
And to mourn for when she's dead".

Author Unknown

Oh Mother, My Mother

Oh Mother, my mother
I touch your tears,
invisible fingers soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often in the day,
in the night,
in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...
in your heart,
in your soul,
I shall always be
for you gave so unselfishly of yourself
Inside of you, you created such a world for me
a world of laughter,
of love of sadness,
of sorrow
every emotion people come to know you shared with me.
And even though I may never feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby,
singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me,
nurturing me
preparing me for things to come
But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this, wherever you are:
I will always remember that yours was the first love
the first joy,
the first soul I will ever know
you gave me the courage to go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same for you
Your heart beat will always call me to you.

Author: Theresa Cochrane

Thank you to the friend who shared this poem with us.

Birth Announcements

I had birth announcements picked out the week we found out we were having a girl. I was so excited to be able to finally be sending out birth announcements of our own. For the past couple of months I've been debating sending them out now that things have changed. The wording would be so different than I first expected. I thought that it might make people uncomfortable. I thought that it might seem like we were bringing up a sad situation again. I thought lots of things. In the end my love and pride for my daughter won out. I am proud of her. I love her so deeply. The fact that her life was so short was not her fault. It was no one's fault. Why shouldn't we send out her baby announcements? She lived. She had a personality. She was born. She was beautiful. We think of her no differently than if she had lived for a few years instead of just a few months. I hope you can understand. Also, we wanted her family and friends to have a picture of her to remember her by. I picked this picture because it isn't a close-up (for the children's sake). Please feel free to order any pictures of Olivia that you want from the link to her pictures to the right.

If you or anyone you know would like to receive an announcement and didn't, please email us. We'd love to send one.

Reunion

Someday, when I'm old,
and someone asks if I'm looking forward to heaven,
I'll say I'm eager to see my Father,
but there's someone else I want to see too.
I'll say
it's been forty or fifty years since I've seen her,
and the time we spent together was all too brief -
an hour or two,
that's all -
and she was so tiny and frail.
I spent that time trying to memorize her.
I never had a chance to find out who she was
or what she was like -
what she could have done,
what she could have been,
but she was my child,
flesh of my flesh,
my own,
and I love her
with limitless love.
My other children grew up
and grew older with me,
but this one -
the one I'm longing to see -
stayed the same through the years;
her face fixed in my memory
like a faded snapshot,
its corners worn
from too much handling.
Through the years,
the good and bad times,
I've dreamed of that distant reunion
and imagined the moment
I could look her in the eyes
and say,
Darling,
your momma's missed you,
but we'll never be apart again.

-Author Unknown

A Poem of Faith

For almost nine months we waited for you...
Dreaming, and planning and shopping, too.

We looked forward to that special day
When we could bundle you up and carry you away.

But we had to say goodbye before saying hello-
Letting go of our dreams of watching you grow.

We had never felt such pure love and grace

As we held you in our arms and kissed your sweet face.

Then somehow through the pain and tears
Your spirit came and calmed our fears.

Now in your arms you'll carry us through
Until that beautiful day when we again hold you.

We will feel such joy as we look in your eyes,
That love and laughter will replace our cries.

And together we'll kneel at Our Savior's feet,
Knowing at last that our family's complete.

-Author Unknown

Our Memorial Day

A million times we needed you,
A million times we cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place,
No one can ever fill.
A light from our household is gone,
A voice from our future is stilled.
A place in our vacant home,
Which by you won't be filled.
Some may think you are forgotten,
'Cause on earth you are no more.
But in our memory you are with us,
As you ever were before.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
A part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
Your precious memories are keepsakes,
with which we'll never part.
God has you safely in his keeping,
But we have you forever in our hearts.

-Anonymous



"Baby Land" at Olivia's cemetery. Olivia is just right of the middle of the front row.