20 August 2009


If you had been born on your due date, today you would be two.

10 August 2009

I Miss You

I miss you every day, but today I am missing you more than usual. I don't know what's different about today. Just wondering what you'd be like. Around two years old. Walking. Talking. Beautiful curly hair and blue eyes. I miss you being here with our family. I wish I could hug you and rock you and kiss you. I MISS you. I miss you! Baby girl I want you here with me, with us. I wish your little brother could grow up with you. I want to be running around after you and wondering how I'm gonna keep keeping up with two. I want to hold you both in my arms and read bedtime stories. My heart hurts. I miss you SO much. What I wouldn't give to have you here, warm, soft, sweet, and precious in my arms. I want to squeeze you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. I can imagine how it'd be to have you here. I'm day-dreaming about it and it is beautiful. Maybe it's selfish, but I want you here. I am not complete without you. I miss you, miss you, miss you, so so much.

03 August 2009

His and Hers

They both feel helpless.
But they each seek their own roles.
They have to find a way to cope.
To soothe their shattered souls.
He wants to take away her pain,
And make her feel safe once more.
She wants to share her tears with him,
Bare herself to the core.
He wants to make it better,
And he wants to be assured
That everything will be okay
That their love has endured.
She wants to talk some more
About their child who died.
He thinks that he's
Done something wrong,
And that is why she sighed.
She's crying once again,
And won't get out of bed.
He sees her journal perched atop
All those books she's read.
She sees him start a new project,
Go to work and watch TV.
She wonders how he does it.
How he has the energy.
But sometimes there's a moment,
When they're both on the same plane.
Sometimes, just for a moment,
Their grief seems just the same.
It's those small-shared moments
That they need so very much.
That they find each other reaching,
That they find each others touch.

-Gwen Flowers

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