One Small Child

"And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one small child makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!"
-Charles Dickens

Mother's and Father's Day

Something to Think About as Mother's Day and Father's Day Approaches

Parental love involves a never-ending commitment and plenty of opportunities to care for and assume responsibility for your child. Parental grief challenges you to find a way to live with the frustration of being robbed of the opportunity to directly care and be responsible for your child.

Parental love involves having plenty of opportunities for emotional and physical contact with your child. Parental grief challenges you to find a way to continue loving your child without continued contact.

Parental love involves having dreams and expectations for the future of your child. Parental grief challenges you to find solace and meaning in a life briefly lived.

Parental love involves knowing where your child is. Parental grief challenges you to find a safe place for your child.

Parental love involves attending to your child's needs when he is in your presence. Parental grief challenges you to learn not to look after your own needs when you sense your child's presence or struggle with her absence.

Parental love involves an expanded capacity for love and life. parental grief challenges you to find the use for the expanded capacity, to not let it go to waste or whither away.

Because parental love is never ending, so too is parental grief. You don't really get over the death of your child, you just learn to live with it.

And so, on this special day when you celebrate your role as a mother or father, be kind to yourself. Give yourself a hug. Give yourself some time alone. Give yourself permission to remember, to cry, to miss your child, to tell others how you feel. But, most important of all, remember to celebrate the special gift of parental love, the lasting gift that your child has given you, a gift that not even death can take away.

-Karen Martin

Dear Mr. Hallmark

You Are a Mother

A mother's love persists
Despite the time or distance
Weathering storms of adversity and absence
A mother's love persists
Despite tears and heartaches
In spite of all enemies
And until her own last dying breath
A mother's love persists
Beyond the grave
Stronger than death
Enduring and everlasting
A mother's love persists
You are a mother, even in the physical absence of your child
You are a mother.
Because a mother's love persists.

-Unknown

I Am a Mother

I am a mother
But like most others
I am a special mother
I held my daughter
Even though only in my womb

I am a mother
Even though my daughter is no longer
At least...not on earth
He lives in heaven
With our sweet Father
Which is far better

I am a mother
Like most others
To an angel...to whom I gave birth

I am a mother
Like most others
Who doesn’t get to throw parties
For those special occasions…like birthdays
Instead, we hold a silent party...in our hearts and heads

I am a mother...unlike some
Who hold their babies in their arms
I am a mother...who holds her daughter
So close to her heart

I am a mother...some beg to differ
I am a mother...though some may not agree
I am a mother
Who’s child is no longer with her
But...I am a mother

I am a mother...who can only dream
Of the day she holds her baby
For the first time in her arms
But never lets her leave her heart

I am a mother
Far from my daughter
But I am a mother…who will never forget
The day she lost her first baby

I am a mother...who dreams
Of a rocking chair in heaven
Where I will someday...hold her close
When she cries or when I kiss her goodnight

I am a mother who…
Instead of holding my daughter’s hand
For the first day of school
Holds onto memories
That will never come true

I am a mother...who visits a cemetery instead of a school
I am a mother...who will never see
What her child will grow to be

I am a mother who cries herself to sleep...sometimes
I am a mother who sometimes rocks herself

I am a mother who gets to wonder what would be
I am a mother who wonders...What would she be?

Most of all...I Am A Mother

-Patricia Hollie

If Tears Could Build a Stairway

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane,
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say "Goodbye",
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.

My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you-
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times,
life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today-
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay.

-Unknown

Happy First Birthday Olivia

Thank you to Marie's friend Vickie for creating this graphic as a gift for Olivia.

Today it is snowing while the sun is shining. This weather fits our emotions today.


Thank you to Hubby's friend Becky for the "My First Minnie".

Thank you so much to everyone for the heart-felt emails, card, text, and gifts. It means a lot to know you're thinking of Olivia today, and sending us well wishes.

Before she was born:

After she was born:

Just Once

Just once I wish I could have spent a late hour rocking you in my arms.
Just once I wish I could have gently lain you in your crib.
I wish I could have changed a diaper,
chosen an outfit for the day,
given you a bath,
soothed your skin with lotion.
Just once I wish I could have heard you cry out in loneliness for me.
Spent time alone with you,
Just the two of us,
strolled you proudly through the shopping mall.
Just once I wish I could have heard the words
"What a beautiful, healthy baby girl".
Just once.

-Author Unknown

My Little Girl

I met you last year, and the time we spent together was brief
You may not know this, but at first glance I knew you were sweet.

I held you in my arms and I saw your whole life pass by in a glance
I saw your first day of school, and your first high school dance.

I saw your first baby steps and the first tooth that came in
I heard the first time you said "Da-da," and saw the first time I let you win.

I saw your first walk to school, on your first day of class.
I could picture me saying how I thought time was going by too fast...

I saw from your very first Christmas, and your first Easter egg hunt.
To the very first Halloween costume that you really did want.

I imagined reading you books as you fell fast asleep for the night
And I would give you advice as you went through the pitfalls of life.

I could see your first boyfriend, through giving you away at the altar.
Now, you can guess that the man holding you in his arms was your father.

You may not have been able to see me but I know you felt my love.
I know you felt my kisses and all my gentle hugs.

You will forever be with me, no matter where I am in this world.
My name is [___], but call me "Daddy," and you will always be my little girl.

-Dennis Sparrow

Memorial Fundraiser

We just started a fundraising campaign and it would mean a lot to us if you can help us out. All funds raised will go to The National Stillbirth Society in honor of Olivia's first birthday on May 1, 2008.

Donated funds to stillbirth research are low due to the public not being aware of just how large of a problem stillbirths are. Also, many families of stillborn babies are understandably not comfortable discussing the matter. In fact, up until recently they were told by doctors not to discuss the matter.

The numbers are shocking. An estimated 26,000 SADS deaths occur annually in the U. S., many of them at or near full term. Stated another way, 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby. Despite advances in so many areas of obstetrics, the incidence of stillbirths in many states has been rising in over the past decade.

Very slowly, awareness is being raised. It is our hope that with that awareness comes a realization of the need to fund research to prevent these deaths. Breath outside the womb is the only difference in SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and SADS (Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome). Though the subject is not a comfortable one, we need to make SADS as well known as SIDS, and raise funds to help find a cure.

Please take a quick minute to browse our fundraising webpage by going to http://www.SupportOurGroup.com/ZF760.

Please spread the word! Share this fundraiser with a friend.

We really appreciate your help. Thanks for your support!