With all the talk about the Duggars losing their 20th child at 20 weeks I've seen many posts of articles about it on Facebook. This one, however, is my favorite. I do not agree with the Duggars lifestyle, but my heart goes out to them and I hope they are receiving the support they need.
"Dear Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar,
I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your baby daughter Jubilee Shalom. I saw the photograph of you holding her feet, so tiny yet so perfect. And so precious. I'm sure you will treasure every photograph, especially the ones that illustrate your love for her.
Showing the photographs at Jubilee's memorial service was such a touching and fitting tribute to your baby girl. Making them available to the public is provoking both compassion and outrage. Compassion is coming from those who empathize. Outrage is coming from those who are frightened.
I wonder if you are even aware of the naysayers, the doubters, and the critics, some of whom are watching in abject horror. They look at you and can't imagine why you're not shrugging off this experience, as if it's akin to a rained-out picnic or missing a bus. They wonder, what's the big deal? You never even got to know the kid! You can just have another one. Or better yet enjoy the ones you've got!"
Click here to read the article in it's entirety: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live/201112/precious-photographs-open-letter-michelle-and-jim-bob-duggar.
(Photo shown is not of the Duggar's angel baby.)
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21 December 2011
Precious Photographs
20 December 2011
For Friends and Family
For many families who are pregnant with or have recently delivered a very loved and wanted baby, hopes and dreams are torn apart with the news that the baby has died. For the rest of the world around them, not much seems changed. Unfortunately, something very sad and life altering has happened that needs to be acknowledged. A baby has died.
Following are some suggestions on how to support a parent whose baby has died.
Say "I’m Sorry"
If you can’t find the right words, it is better to say, “I’m sorry,” than nothing at all.
Avoid Clichés
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Thank goodness you are young, you can still have more children.”
“There must have been something wrong with the baby.”
“I understand how you feel.” (unless you have an experience to share)
“It was meant to be”
“You have an angel in heaven.”
“At least you didn’t get to know the baby.”
“You are so strong, I could never handle this.”
“I guess it’s good it happened now.”
“At least you have children at home.”
“God would never give you more than you could handle.”
What may seem comforting to you may be very hurtful to others. Clichés tend to minimize the loss and the emotions a parent has toward their baby.
Say “I Don’t Know What to Say”
If you are unaware of what to say, simply say, “I don’t know what to say.” Honesty can be more comforting than words with less meaning.
Silence Can Be Okay
Sometimes there is just nothing to say. Just be quiet, be with them, hold their hand, touch their shoulder, or give them a hug.
Apologize for Hurtful Comments
If you do say something insensitive, acknowledge it and apologize. These comments can cause hurt and future resentment.
Responses to Death
Do the same things for the death of a baby as you would if another family member died. Send flowers, sympathy cards, share special remembrances, phone calls, make/bring dinner. If you are a close family member or friend, it may be helpful if you ask to help maintain laundry, basic housecleaning or cooking, or watch other children at home (if applicable). Be sure to obtain permission from the bereaved family before disassembling the baby’s room or removing baby items.
To read more ways to better support a parent, click here to download a brochure.
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19 December 2011
Coping With the Holidays While Grieving
Christmas has always been a time for family. But when you feel like a part of your family is missing, it can be a particularly difficult time of year. Although it has been thirteen years now, I vividly remember our first Christmas after Bret died. He was born with angel wings in August 1995, but his original due date was November 30. Therefore, we had planned on having a new baby with whom to celebrate Christmas with that year. That Christmas, I worried that my emptiness would swallow me.
In the past, I relished our tradition of opening up a nice bottle of wine, cranking up the Christmas carols on the stereo, and helping our son put as many lights and ornaments on the tree as we could without toppling it over. That Christmas, we continued our tradition for our son's sake, but my heart just wasn't in it. Everything took on new meaning that year. Remembering that it was baby Jesus' birthday just reminded me of the baby I lost. The angel we always put on top of the tree gained new significance—I prayed an angel like that one would be watching over my baby. Shortly after Bret died, we were touched to find a teddy angel ornament that was dressed in blue. That Christmas, it was the last ornament we put on the tree, and many tears flowed that night as we ached for our baby boy to be with us. I dreaded Christmas day, not wanting to revisit my pain.
But like most other anxious experiences, the time leading up to the event was worse than the day itself. On Christmas morning, I began to find solace in the symbolism of the season, and I found a lot of comfort in our little blue teddy angel. I felt as though Bret was there with us. Losing Bret made me cherish my son and husband even more. It turned out to be one of the most meaningful Christmas seasons I had ever experienced.
The most important tip for handling the holidays after a major loss is to be gentle with yourself, and do what feels the most comfortable. Here are some other suggestions:
-Acknowledge that Christmas is coming. As much as you may want to avoid it, you can't.
-Try not to “float” into Christmas. Be deliberate in choosing what you would like to do.
-Avoid thinking about what you “should” do. You need to do what is right for you instead of feeling obligated. Decide to do what you can manage and let your friends and family know. There are no “right” or “wrong” ways to celebrate the holidays.
Click here to read the article in it's entirety: http://nationalshare.blogspot.com/2011/12/coping-with-holidays-while-grieving.html.
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18 December 2011
Christmas Grief
Christmas has always been a time for family. But when you feel like a part of your family is missing, it can be a particularly difficult time of year. Although it has been thirteen years now, I vividly remember our first Christmas after Bret died. He was born with angel wings in August 1995, but his original due date was November 30. Therefore, we had planned on having a new baby with whom to celebrate Christmas with that year. That Christmas, I worried that my emptiness would swallow me.
In the past, I relished our tradition of opening up a nice bottle of wine, cranking up the Christmas carols on the stereo, and helping our son put as many lights and ornaments on the tree as we could without toppling it over. That Christmas, we continued our tradition for our son's sake, but my heart just wasn't in it. Everything took on new meaning that year. Remembering that it was baby Jesus' birthday just reminded me of the baby I lost. The angel we always put on top of the tree gained new significance—I prayed an angel like that one would be watching over my baby. Shortly after Bret died, we were touched to find a teddy angel ornament that was dressed in blue. That Christmas, it was the last ornament we put on the tree, and many tears flowed that night as we ached for our baby boy to be with us. I dreaded Christmas day, not wanting to revisit my pain.
But like most other anxious experiences, the time leading up to the event was worse than the day itself. On Christmas morning, I began to find solace in the symbolism of the season, and I found a lot of comfort in our little blue teddy angel. I felt as though Bret was there with us. Losing Bret made me cherish my son and husband even more. It turned out to be one of the most meaningful Christmas seasons I had ever experienced.
The most important tip for handling the holidays after a major loss is to be gentle with yourself, and do what feels the most comfortable. Here are some other suggestions:
Acknowledge that Christmas is coming. As much as you may want to avoid it, you can't.
Try not to “float” into Christmas. Be deliberate in choosing what you would like to do.
Avoid thinking about what you “should” do. You need to do what is right for you instead of feeling obligated. Decide to do what you can manage and let your friends and family know. There are no “right” or “wrong” ways to celebrate the holidays.
Click here to read the article in it's entirety: http://nationalshare.blogspot.com/2011/12/coping-with-holidays-while-grieving.html.
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30 November 2011
Remembering Our Babies
06 October 2011
04 September 2011
Relationships
FOL FOH did not have a monthly writing challenge for July. August and September are together in one topic - relationships.
After the loss of our daughter my relationship with my husband became stronger. Sure there were those tense times when he couldn't understand how I expressed my emotions, but that's just gonna happen between the sexes. He was my rock. He held me and comforted me though he was hurting himself. We became closer because our true selves were exposed. Tragedy tends to do that.
After the loss of my daughter I drew away from my momma. She didn't understand, and tried to say the right things, but ended up saying all the wrong things. People who have never been through the loss of a pregnancy and/or child cannot understand and so do not know which things are right to say and which are wrong. True, some things are obvious, but things like "she's in a better place" or "you can have another" are meant to help and the person saying them cannot understand how it actually does more damage than helps. I withdrew from her after hearing several of these comments. It took months to get back to where we were.
After the loss of my daughter my relationship with my sister I am close to changed too. I withdrew from her because she had two beautiful and healthy children and mine was dead. She had no problems getting pregnant and we did. She could get pregnant again at any time she wanted, but chose not to at the time. I never did and never will have the luxury of that choice. It took months before we were close again too.
After the loss of my daughter my relationship with family and friends changed too. No one knew what to do or say so most, but not all, did and said nothing. I am still not sure if that is better than trying and saying the wrong thing. Thoughts?
There was one friend, who I've mentioned before, who listened and looked at pictures and asked questions, and took the lead from me and talked about Olivia as if she were our real true daughter who we lost, because she took the time to understand that Olivia was and is our real true daughter who we lost. Thank you P. I will NEVER forget.
Unfortunately, when a woman loses a pregnancy and/or child not only does she have to deal with the grief of it she also has to deal with educating people about what to do and say and what not to do and say. And we must do it. We must. If we don't. how will they know? We cannot forever hold them accountable for something they did not realize was wrong.
Here is a link to a basic yet helpful printable page you can give to help people learn: Support for Family & Friends. At the bottom of the page is a link for a beautifully done printable pamphlet you can also give to help people learn.
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31 August 2011
Another Due Date Day
August 20th was the anniversary of Olivia's due date. We were camping. I didn't get to bring her flowers or balloons, but I thought of her all day long. All day long. I love that baby of mine. I love that little girl, that young woman she would have been, the woman who would have been my best friend in my over-the-hill years. What a beautiful life she would have had, and we would have had with her.
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25 July 2011
Summer Memories
You may remember, I joined Faces of Hope's monthly writing challenge (FOHMWC). I missed June. Let me catch up.
I didn't get to make any summer memories with our Livy. The only connection summer and Olivia has is her due date. Her due date was August 20, 2007. On that day, months after she was born still, we held a balloon release at her grave. We invited family and friends. Trissy, Sam, their boys, Stefanie, Stacy, Paula, her little son, and Amanda came. We placed six beautiful pink roses in her vase for the six beautiful months we had with her. We released six pink balloons. Paula and Amanda each brought a balloon too.
Momma and Aunt Mickey did a balloon release in my hometown. Aunt Janis and family did one too with yellow balloons. I felt so grateful.
Every due date we visit her grave. We usually leave a "thinking of you" balloon and release another to find it's way to her.
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Already
I am already thinking about the fact that Olivia's next birthday will be her fifth. We've decided to fundraise to purchase a pretty paver in our local zoo's beautiful carousel courtyard for her. The paver will read "In Memory of Olivia (middle name) (last name)". The total cost is only $100. We have a website through ChipIn! where family and friends can go to donate through our personal PayPal account. I'm even thinking about having a little get-together at the carousel courtyard with a birthday cake for those who donate. Yes, I think I will. I love so much that girl of mine.
Her fifth birthday will be on May 1, 2012, but the fundraiser ends on January 30, 2011 to allow time to submit the engraved paver request and to have the engraving done.
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23 May 2011
05 May 2011
A Box In The Ground
Four years ago today hubby and I drove to the funeral home to say goodbye to our daughter's perfect little body. We were led down a hall and into a small room with a couch and side table. Across from the couch was a rectangular table against the wall with the tiniest of coffins on it. Our daughter's body was laying inside. She was a little over half way bigger than that tiny coffin. Yet there she was, ten fingers, ten toes, button nose, knees, elbows, Daddy's feet and Momma's legs. Somewhere behind those closed eyelids there was the color blue. My daughter that had grown in my belly for six months or so. My daughter that was so much wanted by her daddy and myself. My daughter that I planned so much for, that had a full nursery waiting for her with pink clothes and towels and sheets and stuffed animals and blankets. There lay my daughter who I wanted to show the world and who I wanted to show the world to. No one would ever see her but us. Not in this life. There lay all my hopes and dreams of becoming a mother to a bouncing baby girl. Dead were the possibilities of potty training, pre-school, first day of kindergarten, Girl Scouts, scraped knees, first love, college graduation, wedding, her children. All gone. And it happened so quickly. Just seven days, one week, earlier we were expecting all these things. Instead we held her, cried over her, sang to her, spent one-on-one time with her, made sure her clothes were perfect, enclosed a tiny teddy bear, and a picture of us with her, wrapped her in one of the blankets from her nursery, kissed her goodbye, and sealed the lid.
Hubby carried her to the funeral home car. I sat beside him with that box in his lap. That box that held all his hopes and dreams. That box that we would have to put in a deep, dark, cold hole in the ground. That tiny box that held so much. He carried her to the grave site. After the grave-side service I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave my baby laying out there in the open unprotected by momma's arms. Doug could not pull me away. The fellow from the funeral home asked the cemetery workers to bypass protocol and bury her with us watching. A man came and lowered my daughter into that hole. Then came a machine with a scoop of dirt. She got covered and I felt she was safe. The man arranged the flowers on top of the tiny mound of dirt and was gone. The fellow from the funeral home waited a ways away in silence. It took a few minutes, many, many tears, and a slight nudge from hubby, but I was finally able to leave. Only to return hundreds of times later.
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04 May 2011
Mother's Day
It is upon me. Mother's Day. Mother's Day is a day I'd rather skip and a day that I look forward to all in one. Mother's Day. Just the thought of it makes me cry. Crying is my first reaction to thinking about Mother's Day. I have two beautiful healthy children. I thought somehow that would make Mother's Day a 100% positive day for me. No matter how many living breathing children I have I will always have one in the grave, and that is one too many. Focusing too much on the negative? My child is not a negative thing. My child dying is a negative thing. You have two arms. Lets cut one off and bury it in the ground and see which one you have trouble not focusing on. Thinking about. Yearning for. For me it is unfortunate that Mother's Day always falls on a Sunday. Sunday's mean church. I love church. But Mother's Day at church makes Mother's Day even harder, or at least it always has in the past. Every year the little children go up to the front and sing sweet songs in their precious little voices about mother's. Every year my Olivia is missing. Four. She would be four this year. Maybe when my living children are old enough to sing it will not be so hard. It will be wonderful to look up there and see a child of mine. But Olivia will still be missing. And this is only one reason it's so tough. Think I'm focusing on the negative again? Let's cut off one of your legs. You can go on without it. You can get a new leg. Maybe even one that's better than your old one. It just takes time. You'll get used to it. After a while you won't even remember you ever had it. You can still walk. You should be grateful for just being alive and having such a wonderful life. Right. And a child is so so so much more precious that a limb. A child. My child. My child is not here and knowing where she is does not make me miss her any less. She should be. She should be here with me. My babies should have an older sister. My son should not be the oldest of my children. I should be a mother of three. And I am, but only to myself. I wish she had had the chance to experience this world and be a part of an earthly family. I wish she could have seen a butterfly, a fish, a rainbow, a playground. I wish she could be here to get sunburns and eat ice cream and make snow angels. Mother's Day I am grateful, extremely, emotionally, strongly grateful for my two living children. Mother's Day I am in despair for the loss of my firstborn living here on this earth with her family.
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02 May 2011
Writing Challenge
I have accepted Faces of Hope's Monthly Writing Challenge. This month's topic is, of course, Mother's Day. My post is coming soon...
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01 May 2011
Gone Too Soon
Like a comet blazing 'cross the evening sky, gone too soon.
Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye, gone too soon.
Shiny, sparkly and splendidly bright, here one day gone one night.
Like the loss of sunlight on a cloudy afternoon, gone too soon.
Like a castle built upon a sandy beach, gone too soon.
Like a perfect flower that is just beyond your reach, gone too soon.
Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight, here one day gone one night
Like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon, gone too soon.
by Michael Jackson (for babv D.)
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30 April 2011
Tomorrow
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love and hate you, tomorrow. You're only a day away.
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29 April 2011
Visitor From Heaven
A visitor from Heaven
If only for a while.
The gift of life to be returned
We think of you and smile.
A visitor from Heaven
Accompanied by grace
Reminding of a better love
And of a better place.
With aching hearts and empty arms
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go
But we're so glad you came.
We're so glad you came
A visitor from Heaven
If only for a day.
We thank Him for the time he gave
And now it's time to say.
We trust you to the Father's love
And to His tender care.
Held in the Everlasting Arms
And we're so glad you're there.
We're so glad your there.
With breaking hearts and open hands
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go
But we're so glad you came.
We're so glad you came.
-Unknown
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14 April 2011
12 April 2011
Stillbirth Research and Awareness Act of 2011
Rep. Peter King Introduces Stillbirth Research and Awareness Act of 2011
March 25, 2011
CALL FOR HOUSE CO-SPONSORS! All MISS members must contact their U.S. House of Representative requesting their co-sponsorship of H.R. 1037 – the Stillbirth Research and Awareness Act of 2011. The best method is to call your Congressperson’s office and ask to talk to the staff member who deals with Health issues. Tell the staff member that you want your Congressperson to co-sponsor H.R. 1037 – the Stillbirth Research and Awareness Act of 2011 and would like to send them an e-mail. Request their e-mail address and send them an e-mail. Here's an example
Dear (staffmember),
My family would be honored if Rep. (Name) would co-sponsor H.R. 1037 – the Stillbirth Research and Awareness Act of 2011 by Rep. Peter King. We lost our son/daughter in the 40th week of pregnancy and it devastated our family. Every year, more than 25,000 children die of stillbirths and half of those are undiagnosed. The bill would help further stillbirth research to potentially help future parents not suffer the horrible loss that we had to endure. Please help all future parents by co-sponsoring H.R. 1037 and I look forward to your response.
(Your Name)
(Address)
(Phone number)
Please familiarize yourself with the Congressional grassroots instructions and federal stillbirth legislation at http://preventstillbirth.wordpress.com. The site also has a link to find out who represents you in the U.S. Congress and their contact information. Please e-mail Rmayaustin@att.net for any assistance.
-taken from the M.I.S.S. Foundation's "Missing Angel Bill" website
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11 April 2011
For A Friend
A friend of mine, who has always been supportive in my loss, has lost her baby today. Please say a prayer or two for her. God knows who she is even if you don't. Oh the heartache! Dear friend, I am so so sorry you have joined this awful club. Just remember where your angel is and try to find some comfort in that thought. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
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07 April 2011
For Shame
I have always supported PeTA. I think them a bit extreme, but over all they do great things for animals and I very much appreciate that. However, they have recently done something unspeakable. Since it is being blogged about on many, many other blogs I will simply share a link to a post that discusses this unspeakable act. Please visit The R House's post "PETA: People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals But not Infertile People".
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02 April 2011
Symptoms Of Grief
Physical
1. Hyperactive or under active
2. Feelings of unreality
3. Physical distress such as chest pains, abdominal pains, headaches, nausea
4. Change in appetite
5. Weight change
6. Fatigue
7. Sleeping problems
8. Restlessness
9. Crying and sighing
10. Feelings of emptiness
11. Shortness of breath
12. Tightness in the throat
Emotional
1. Numbness
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Fear
5. Relief
6. Irritability
7. Guilt
8. Loneliness
9. Longing
10. Anxiety
11. Meaninglessness
12. Apathy
13. Vulnerability
14. Abandonment
Social
1. Overly sensitive
2. Dependent
3. Withdrawn
4. Avoid others
5. Lack of initiative
6. Lack of interest
Behavioral
1. Forgetfulness
2. Searching for the deceased
3. Slowed thinking
4. Dreams of the deceased
5. Sense the loved one’s presence
6. Wandering aimlessly
7. Trying not to talk about loss in order to help others feel comfortable around them
8. Needing to retell the story of the loved one’s death
1. Be patient with yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. Go through mourning at your own pace.
2. Admit you are hurting and go with the pain
3. Apply cold or heat to your body, whichever feels best.
4. Ask for and accept help.
5. Talk to others
6. Face the loss
7. Stop asking “Why?” and ask “What will I do now?”
8. Recognize that a bad day does not mean that all is lost.
9. Rest.
10. Exercise.
11. Keep to a routine.
12. Introduce pleasant changes into your life.
13. Know that you will survive.
14. Take care of something alive, such as a plant or a pet
15. Schedule activities to help yourself get through weekends and holidays.
16. Find someone who needs your help.
17. Accept your feelings as part of the normal grief reaction.
18. Postpone major decisions whenever possible
19. Do something you enjoy doing.
20. Write in a journal.
21. Be around people.
22. Schedule time alone.
23. Do not overdo.
24. Eat regularly.
-taken from Grief Watch
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22 March 2011
Technorati
KDBV4MY9SCWF
Just a code that will hopefully help to bring more traffic to the blog.
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18 March 2011
Forgive Them For They Know Not What They Say (Or Do)
By Brian Henry
When we lost our daughter Caroline, we gained a world of perspective we never wanted.
Most people lead a life blissfully ignorant of pregnancy loss. Many of our friends and family had no idea what it was like to suffer this type of loss, so it stood to reason that they also had no idea how to react when it entered their lives.
Forgiving the ignorance of others isn't exactly the first thing you do after a loss.
In the days following Caroline's stillbirth, we expected everyone would understand right away what we needed - gentle words, limitless understanding, the ability to listen for hours on end as we cried our way through another difficult evening - and further, that they would instantaneously and successfully deliver the support we needed.
When those expectations weren't met, we were disappointed and angry. Everyone we came in contact with was summarily labeled according to their level of support - there were the rarified few that made it into the "very helpful" category, a few more that were "somewhat helpful" and then the majority who fell into the abyss known as "wow, couldn’t have been less helpful, let's never call that person again."
Only in the years since our loss have we realized our expectations didn’t match reality. We failed to understand what is possible emotionally from people who haven’t had a loss, which made it more difficult for our recovery.
We should expect basic human reactions – "I'm sorry." "How sad." "I'm here to help." - but we found ourselves demanding even more. Only now, after suffering our own loss, meeting others who have suffered losses and educating our friends and family about pregnancy loss, do we truly understand, and forgive.
Forgiveness is a big word for us. We don't ask for it from each other very often, even though we should. And we don't give it out a lot to others, because we feel obligated to hold onto our angry feelings, take every slight, file it in our brain and recall it at a moment's notice.
We felt that if we did forgive, it would allow hurtful words or lack of support - unintentional though it may have been - to shape our view of ourselves and of our loss.
As we went along our own journey of recovery, we came to understand that forgiving people around us for not meeting our expectations (and forgiving ourselves for having those expectations in the first place), actually helped us to better appreciate what our friends and family could, and did, give to us.
It's a lesson we didn’t want to learn, but now that we have, we hope we’re better at forgiving those closest to us and helping others understand how they can better support families who have suffered such a devastating loss.
-taken from nationalshare.blogspot.com
Personally I didn't have much support because of a couple different reasons. One, I didn't want people to know I needed support and two, I am not the type to have close friends and had only a couple friends I'd label as close at the time. One of these friends is someone I worked with. She was more supportive than I could ever have hoped for. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back she was an angel for me when I needed it most. Years later we hardly see each other any more, but she still reads this blog. So, you know who you are. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You were the only one who gave me what I needed when I didn't even know what I needed myself. My own sisters and mother were uncomfortable talking with me, but you were there. I will never forget. You are a big part of my Olivia's story. Thank you P.
Everyone needs something different. What I needed was someone to listen and let me talk and not act uncomfortable. I feel pretty sure there is a certain sis-in-law of mine who also reads this blog who I could have called, but at the time I don't think I felt like I knew her well enough. I wish I would have called because she loves her nieces and nephews more than any other aunt I know and I am sure she was grieving too and could have used an ear to listen. Love you M.
As far as forgiving those who were not supportive, I think that comes with time. For me, like I said, I am not the type to have girlfriends so I did not expect anything from anyone. I expected more support from my sisters and mother than they gave, but now when I think about it I just feel like "whatever". They probably just didn't know how or didn't know what to say. Maybe my expectations were too high. My momma has a picture of our Liv on her table of grandbabies and that is good enough for me now-a-days.
17 March 2011
Days Not Months
Well, what I thought would take months only took days. It seemed an insurmountable task to me, but I was pleasantly surprised. The goal was to remove any trace of our last name, my real first name, Olivia's daddy's first name, and any information that'd clue someone into where we live. Since we've had children our family privacy has become more important to us.
If you see any of the information I just mentioned on this blog please let me know. Thanks for your help and thanks for reading Olivia of May. Love to you.
03 March 2011
Changes
Over the next few months some changes will be made to Olivia's blog. We will be attempting to remove any traces of our last name and any other identifying information. You can help us in this effort by mentioning things that you think we may have missed. We will be starting soon, as I am sure you will notice. Thank you for visiting Olivia of May.
28 February 2011
Sometimes
"Baby mine don't you cry.
Baby mine dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine."
Sometimes I still grab a blankie, rock in the rocking chair, and cry from missing you. I know you'd be a big girl now, but I bet I'd still rock you every now and then. Sometimes I feel you there with me; not in my arms, but over my shoulder. Thank you.
12 February 2011
Slipped Away
"I miss you.
Miss you so bad.
I don't forget you.
Oh it's so sad.
I hope you can hear me.
I remember it clearly.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same.
[I'm glad I got] to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand.
I wish that I could see you again.
I know that I can't.
I hope you can hear me
'Cause I remember it clearly.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same.
I've had my wake up.
Won't you wake up?
I keep asking why.
And I can't take it.
It wasn't fake.
It happened.
You passed by.
Now you're gone, now you're gone,
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back.
Now you're gone, now you're gone,
There you go, there you go
Somewhere you're not coming back.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same.
I miss you."
This
is THE song
I relate to the most
of all the songs on Olivia's playlist.
Sometimes when I think of her,
or the day she was born,
this song plays
in the back of my mind.
Right now
is one
of those sometimes.
13 January 2011
Reminding
If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding that they died - you' re not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived... and that is a great gift."
~Elizabeth Edwards
03 January 2011
Gift Number Four
"Hi [Peach], so I was really excited to participate in Olivia Christmas wish, I thought it would be easy to just go to the store and pick out a toy and drop it off some place but buying little girl gifts was very hard this year, having Angels makes most simple things harder.
So after some prayer I was give inspiration to donate a holiday meal to Community Action Partnership of San Bernardino County Food Bank for a needy family in honor of Olivia Christmas wish, the town I live in was hit really hard by the economy and so many families have nothing, not even a Christmas dinner, this was the only thing I could think of to Honor Olivia I hope she likes it."
What a wonderful idea! Thank you so much for thinking of my Livy. Love to you, your earthly family, and your angel babies.
